Ya da ya da ya da!! Chat Rooms!!!
By Steve Ensley

Why are Internet chat rooms more sacred than a marriage vow to many people? Why do young teens turn to relationships in chat rooms when they barely talk with their parents or peers? Maybe these seem like easy questions for you, the reader, but I find the answers to be, at the same time, simple and very complex.

On a simple level, it is scriptural that humans are social beings created to interact with each other. 

Rom 12:[10] Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. [11] Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. [12] Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. [13] Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 

The term "your people" appears 128 times in my Bible search program. We have a desire and a need to interact with other humans. The chat rooms give us that "connection" in the convenience and "safety" of our own homes. It is very simple, go to a chat room, watch the conversation and, if so inclined, join in the chat. Simple! 

And yet it is more complex. In our hectic culture, meaningful interaction is rare! In our culture there is a perception that unless you are young and have a perfect body, you somehow have less value, at least until you buy the advertised product that will make you perfect. With that message pounded into our heads, we somehow feel we are not attractive enough to enter into deeper conversation or relationships because of our flaws. You know what I mean, something deeper than "Hello, how are you doing"! 

Enter the Internet! In the anonymous world of the Internet chat room, we can be whomever we want to be. We can be smart, we can be bold, we can be young, we can be old; because the others in the chat room can't see or hear us, we can be whatever we wish. The other participants can see only what we communicate through our written words. I know, I know, some of you are going to say that many chat rooms have video and audio and I concede the fact that some do, but the truth is that most chat rooms are text only and people like it that way.

Why? Because they like the anonymity, the mystery, the secrecy. In other words, it is easier to lie and get away with it!

So what? you may ask. What is the point? While I agree that chat rooms can be used for good purposes there are some dangers! Let's talk about the good, first!

The Good:

My personal favorite use of chat rooms is the way some of them are used to spread the good news of Jesus Christ. What a great way to reach out to someone with the hope of the Gospel message. How about Christian counseling? I have a dear friend who has been counseling people out of destructive behaviors using monitored Internet chat rooms for over three years now. Millions of people use chat rooms to talk to relatives and other loved ones. It is fun, free and convenient and you can talk to whole families at the same time. Communicating with relatives is another personal favorite of mine. It is exactly the kind of thing that has made the Internet grow at geometric rates

The Bad

So how can an Internet chat room be a bad thing? Well unfortunately, because it is so anonymous, people do not have to be honest. And in fact most chat rooms are anything but good for our families and relationships. Our research indicates that almost all chat rooms are vulgar at best and downright dangerous at worst. 

Vulgar? Yes, because anyone can join an open chat room, juveniles and those with malevolent intent join the chat rooms just to get reactions out of other participants by using rude and vulgar language. Even the so-called "Christian" chat rooms turn very vulgar, very quickly because of "profanity attacks". Unfortunately, the vulgarity is the best you can hope for because chat rooms are a primary vehicle for pedophiles and other sexual predators who wish to make contact with their future victims. These predators often arrange to meet their chat room friends and the rest is the tragic consequences of these activities.

And as bad as these activities can be, there is an even more subtle and tragic consequence of chat room activities that are destroying our families these days! They are Internet chat room affairs. Jesus said in Matthew 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.' [28] But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I submit to you that this also applies to chat rooms. If you talk to another woman lustfully you have also committed adultery. 

Thousands and thousands of families have now been destroyed because of inappropriate and often immoral relationships developed in Internet chat rooms. These relationships not only rip apart existing families, but even frequently fail themselves because they are based on lies. The lies I mentioned above when the chat room participants pretend to be someone they are not.

I have even received verified stories of a spouse running away to live with another person whom they have never seen! Folks, this is not rare! It happens every day and it is tragic! Even if the Internet affair does not lead to a physical affair or divorce, the emotional adultery is just as real, just as destructive and just as immoral as the physical adultery. Children and spouses are cheated of the intimacy they deserve because of these Internet affairs. Couples become distant and separated because a spouse "connects" with someone else online. Children are even neglected as some moms get involved in frequent and lengthy conversations. 

And worst of all, I wish I could say the destructive behaviors are the exception, but our own research leads us to believe that more than 90% of chat room activity is vulgar, inappropriate or immoral. Nine out of ten chat room conversations are going to result in bad behavior of some sort.

What is the answer?

If you are on the Internet, don't use the unmonitored chat rooms. That sounds hard, but it is the best course. We at AFO block all the unmonitored chat rooms we can find simply because they are so dangerous. Now the fact that I used the term "unmonitored" should indicate to you that there are monitored chat rooms and these are the best way to participate more safely in a chat room conversation. The monitored chat rooms reduce the "profanity raids" and the temptation to get to intimate.

We also suggest using "Instant Message" systems for communications with relatives. These are like chat rooms, except they are closed to all but the previously agreed upon participants and conversations are logged. In other words, if you are talking to a friend or relative in an instant message session, no one else can break into the conversations unless you allow it. No vulgarity and no predators!

But one more caution. Even monitored or instant message chat sessions can consume huge amounts of mostly non-productive time. It is great for visiting, but it can really steal your time. 

We at AFO want you to enjoy your Internet experience. We hope that this information will help you better understand the Internet and help you use it in such away that you and your family are not exposed to some of the most destructive behaviors known to mankind.

God bless you!

Steve Ensley - President
AFO